Facing Fears – w/end of April 25th 2008

This past weekend I headed to New York to finish up the requirements of my ARBA Judge’s License (for cavies).  Val, a very good friend of mine, invited me to stay at her home and come the night prior to the show.  Of course, I took her up on her generous offer!!!  It was great to arrive early at her home, on a bright sunny day.  We ate chocolate cupcakes, visited Val’s favourite tack shop and just enjoyed each other’s company!   We then decided to groom her horses and go for a ride.  Now, I have ridden Night before (her Tennessee Walker) and had a fabulous ride – but this time, I was approaching the groom/ride with zero-little confidence.  Val could sense the change from a once confident Heather, ready for the trails – to one who was nervously grooming out her TWH gelding, “Night”.  I took many deep breaths and wondered if this was “too soon”, was I “ready” to go out into the “unknown”.   There was one thing for sure, I trusted my friend Val and she assured me that Night would be a good boy out on the trails (Night is a lovely TWH, but is a little unconfident in the pastures at time, relying on his pair bond, Helen (Appy) for a bit of bravery).

 

I put on my riding boots and donned my helmet and we led the horses down the hill into the back ravine, scouting for a tree stump that could hoist us up on our equine’s back.  I moved a tin can off the perfect stump and Night spooked a bit backwards, “oh boy”, I thought – am I ready for this?  Night recovered after a second, or two (his recovery, better than mine) and I climbed aboard.   Night’s ears pricked forward and he was ready to go!   Val climbed aboard Helen and we were set … off to the wild yonder, we walked on!

 

The alfalfa fields were bright green and lush and the horses were happy to cruise through them.  Helen, an Appaloosa with an extraordinary horseanality would stop once and a while, demanding her cookie before continuing onwards (she knows how to work it!).  Night, very much well behaved reached out with his long, smooth strides.  Unfortunately, the fields were deeply ploughed and had plenty of rocks, so Night who reached with beautiful extension would lose his footing amongst the deep grooves and rocks.  He tried so hard to maintain his balance and he was successful at it – he truly tries hard on the trails to be the perfect gentleman.  Unfortunately, he had Nervous Nellie on his back – whose loss of confidence first started with a bad stumble from her steed.  The past was coming back to haunt me as Night tried to maintain his balance from time to time and he was so great, lending his confidence to me – who was shaken by the bad footings.    After a little bit, we ventured into a forest for challenging hacking – it was here that I felt my threshold was being pushed to the limit.  The road was very uneven and the low lying branches impeded our way.  After a short introduction into the forest, I called out to Val (in the lead) and asked if we could turn back – I was failing at this challenge.   Val, who was “quite” understanding through all of this – saw that I was ready to crumble and we turned around back to the pastures.  Open air once again and I could breathe.  Night and I stumbled a few more times in the lush alfalfa fields, but we were doing it and he really is a great boy.  From time to time, I allowed him to lower his head to pluck the tender shoots from the ground.  He seemed most appreciative of the opportunity to graze the tasty greens.

 

We walked on a bit more and then headed back to Val’s home.  I had faced some of my greatest demons on the ride and was extremely thankful to have such an understanding friend who had such great patience with me as I crossed certain thresholds and backed off from one (the forest).

 

Greatest thanks to my wonderful friend Val and her lovely TWH, Night – who was a great gentleman and took care of me as I seek to find the confidence that I lost such a short time ago.

 

Heather